She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
