Please, let me fuck your mom
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
