Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
