Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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