I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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