well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
