You smell like a Billy Joel song
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
