your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
