i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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