Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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