No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
