how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
