Can i not drive my cunt home
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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