they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
