I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
