This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
