i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
