Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize