She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
