All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
