there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
