dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
