Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
