ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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