"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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