I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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