He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize