I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
