He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
