if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
