ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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