I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize