It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
