This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize