Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
