Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
