Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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