I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
