Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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