I don't think brook has ever known best
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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