Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
