your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
