he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
