the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
