We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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