In the future we'll all be gay
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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