i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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