I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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