My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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