we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
