Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
