My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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