This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
