the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just forgot I was standing up.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
