U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize