bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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