i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
