3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
