batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
