I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
